Remember
by planet oc
Summary: Summer returns to Newport and finds comfort in something she thought she had lost.
1. Numb

Title: Remember

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Don't own it

A/N Okay, I'm really sorry that I keep making all of these new stories and then not updating the old ones. But I just keep getting these freakin' ideas in my head, so I start writing and then I never finish. But I promise over Christmas break, I'm going to finish the ones that I've started. Or at least come close. Whew... that was long.

Chapter One: Numb

She was numb. She had been lying underneath him for quite some time, but still couln't feel a thing. The only thing she felt was numbness. She couldn't feel him as he moved in and out of her. She couldn't feel his hands on hers. And she certainly couldn't feel the one thing that she wanted to feel more than life itself. She wanted to feel loved. But she hadn't felt that way since... no. She willed herself to not think of him, not speak his name. She had done that once before, with Alex, and he had slapped her across the face. She never felt it. Anything Alex did, she never felt. That was why she had moved away from Newport. As soon as she got away, she vowed never to feel anything for a guy again. Especially the one she had left behind. She lay there underneath Alex,who's breathing had slowed as he drifted into sleep on top of her. She lay there, willing herself, fighting with herself not to think of him.

For about a second, she won.

Then, she thought of him.She thought of his dark curly hair and the way it felt when she ran her fingers through it. She thought of his deep brown eyes that stared into her soul before he kissed her. She thought of the way he held her,the way he cared for her, the way he loved her. Then she remembered his laugh and bit her bottom lip to keep from crying. Even that couldn't stop a lone tear from streaking down her face.

"Cohen," she whispered softly. Summer felt Alex stir and watched as he went into the bathroom to take a shower, not saying anything to her. She sighed and rolled over, furiously wiping a hand across her cheek. She closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep, but her cell phone had a different plan. It rang shrilly and she groaned as she picked it up.

"Hello?" she answered, her dark brown hair falling into her face.

"Sum?" A small timid voice came through the other side of the phone. Summer recognized the voice immediately.

"Coop? What's wrong?"

"It's Seth. There's been an accident."

A/N ooo drama drama drama


	2. Homecoming

Chapter Two: Homecoming

"I still don't understand why you have to go, Summer. I mean, you haven't seen these people for over a year."

Summer sighed as she looked at the passing cars flying by the window.

"I've known them all my life," she said quietly. It wasn't exactly true- she hadn't known Ryan that long, but she never told Alex about Chino. Just about Marissa. And now, Seth.

"I just don't get it. I mean, if it's your best friend's boyfriend, why do you have to go?"

She cringed at the lie. She had told Alex that Marissa and Seth were together, which was quite possibly the grossest thing Summer had ever imagined.

"Because, she's my best friend, Alex. God, I would think that you would understand how I feel about my friends." Summer was facing the window throughout her entire tirade. Alex shut up and concentrated on driving through the blustery streets of New York, making his way to JFK.

They didn't speak the entire rest of the car ride. Nor did they speak as they walked through the airport. And they didn't say a word to each other as Summer boarded the plane.

She sat down in her seat, her hands gripping the armrests as the flight took off and the pilot came over the intercom to announce their departure from New York to Los Angeles. It had become official now; she was going to face her past. She was going back to the O.C.

A/N Short chapter I know I'll write more in Chapter 3!!


	3. The Only Thing I Have Is You

A/N I was looking at my other stories and most of the time it seems like I always seem to have an accident happening. Lol.

Chapter Three: The Only Thing I Have is You

Summer stood outside the hospital doors, biting her thumbnail and inhaling the noxious fumes every time the door opened. She wanted to go in and she wanted to run away all at the same time. She turned slowly and was about to run back to LAX to get on a plane to New York when she saw a familiar face. Marissa was sitting in a chair, pretending to read a magazine while she tapped her foot impatiently. As Summer walked closer, she could see that she had been crying.

"Coop?" she whispered softly, causing the girl to jerk at the name. Summer gasped when she saw her. Her figure was gaunt, her complexion pale. But what scared her even more were her eyes. All they were were blank and empty spaces, looking through Summer and not at her. Summer froze.

"Hi, Summer," Marissa said, her voice clicking. Summer ran over to her and wrapped her arms around her thin body. Marissa's arms slowly went around her and Summer manuevered herself into a chair as Marissa let out the waterworks.

"Oh, my God Summer, I didn't know it was going to be this fucking bad," Marissa whispered through the sobs wracking her small frame. Summer's blood turned cold.

"What's so bad?" she asked, pulling away fromMarissa and staring into those blank eyes. "Tell me what happened, Coop!"

Marissa sighed and swiped at her face. Her eyes went to the floor as she began to speak.

"Ryan and Seth were coming... were coming home from this party and this guy... he had been at the party too and he had been drinking a lot." Summer's breath slowed. Marissa took a deep breath and went on.

"Anyway, they were coming home and they were going through... through the intersection when that guy hit them and... he hit them on the driver's side and... and Ryan was driving and he... and he..." Marissa couldn't go on.

"Is Ryan dead?" Summer whispered. Marissa shook her head. "No, but he's in a coma. And Seth... he thinks this is all his fault. He thinks he should have been the one driving."

Summer felt a small tear trickle down her cheek. "Why didn't you tell me about Ryan on the phone?" she asked softly.

Marissa cast her eyes down again. "Because I knew you wouldn't come."

Summer's eyes welled up as she hugged Marissa again. "Oh, baby, I'm so sorry."

Marissa nodded against her shoulder. "I know why you had to leave. I just didn't want you to."

Summer looked at her and smiled slightly. "Well, I won't do it again. So, can I go see Cohen?" Marissa laughed lightly. "Yeah, I think he's asleep. He's in room 217."

Summer got up and walked a little bit before she realized that Marissa was still sitting on the chair. "Aren't you coming?"

Marissa shook her head. "No, I have to wait here to see what's happening with Ryan." Summer nodded and made her way down the hall to 217.

Seth Cohen wasn't much of a crier. The last time he had cried was in fifth grade, when Luke had, once again, embarassed him in front of the entire class. The only thing different about that time was that Seth had actually tried to fight back, which got him in trouble instead of Luke. After that, Luke had pretty much ignored him with the punches and continued with the insults. He could take that. Since then, he hadn't cried. Until today. Hestill couldn't believe her words.

"Ryan's in a coma and Summer's not coming."

Just like that. It tore him apart. He nodded and looked away, not wanting Marissa to see him cry, to see that he knew it was his fault. If he would have been driving or if he would have made Ryan wear his seatbelt, things would have been different. He laughed at the irony. It had been the only time Ryan hadn't put on his seatbelt.And Seth forgot to remind him. It took him a second for the other part of the statement to hit. Summer, his Summer, wasn't going to be there for him. In his time of need, she wasn't going to be there. He didn't know whether to hate her or hate himself. He couldn't, no matter how hard he tried, hate Summer, so he began to hate himself. Ever since the day she had left, it had torn at him. A hatred so deep he could feel it. And now it was going to come crashing down on him.And if Ryan was gone... what would he have to live for? Nothing, that's what. Seth was thinking all these things over as he came slowly out of sleep and began to wonder what the pressure was on his hand. All he could see was a huge dark blob on top of it. He blinked a few times and when he realized what was actually on his hand, his breathing stopped, causing the monitors to beep ferociously. Summer quickly sat up, her brown hair flying into her face, a horrified look on her face. Their eyes met and Summer quickly began breathing again, as did Seth, calming the monitors.Seth's eyes narrowed as he stared at her, wondering what the hell she was doing there and being ecstatically happy that she was.

She chewed on her thumbnail again. By this time tomorrow, she wasn't going to have a thumbnail. Smiling slightly, she whispered, "Hey Seth."


	4. Say Anything

A/N Thanks for all the reviews! I know I really haven't responded to them, but I promise I'll try to now!! Now… on with the story!!!!

Chapter Four: Say Anything

_Damnit, Seth, say something!_ Summer thought to herself, nibbling on her index fingernail now. Seth just stared at her, unbelieving.

_She can't be real_ he thought.

He blinked, once, twice, finding out that each time he opened his eyes again, she was still there, the same beautiful Summer. His eyes then turned wary. What the hell did she think she was doing here? She left a long time ago. She wasn't supposed to come back! But, and Seth couldn't stop it, as he looked into her deep brown eyes, his heart fluttered for the first time in months.

"What are you doing here?" Seth was trying to keep his cool. On one side, he wanted to scream at her, to tell her to get the fuck out of dodge, but on the other hand he wanted those soft lips back on his. Summer fidgeted a little bit, but her soft smile never faltered.

"I heard what happened and I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Oh, yeah, I'm great. Just peachy. You would feel the same way if you had just made _your_ best friend comatose." It took Seth a minute to figure out that he had said this out loud. Summer had gasped a little.

"Seth, it wasn't your fault."

"Oh, wasn't it? That's just rich, Summer. You're telling me it's not my fault? I bet you don't even know what happened. You don't know what the FUCK happened, do you?"

Summer cast her eyes down, and Seth noticed, to his horror, that she was crying.

"Oh, my God, Summer. Don't listen to me. I'm such an asshole-"

"No," she said, cutting him off and looking at him, smiling through her tears. "No, you're right. I don't know what happened. I'm the asshole Seth, not you. I'm the one who left…" her voice trailed off; it was so soft that you could barely hear the word 'left'. Seth closed his eyes, trying not to relive the moment when she _had_ left. It was all too painful.

_"Seth, I have to go."_

_"Summer, why?"_ His pleading brown eyes had searched hers for an answer. She looked down and tried her hardest not to cry.

_"Seth, I just, don't feel like I belong here anymore."_

_"That's a lie. Oh, my God Summer, you are, like, the essence of all the Newport Beach girls. No one knows more about living here than you do!"_

_"Well, maybe that's the problem, Seth! Maybe I just need a different life!"_ That was a lie too, and they both knew it. But Summer couldn't bring herself to tell him the truth. It seemed comical really, in a sad sort of way. She had hoped he would say something, something to make her tell him the truth, make her not leave. She didn't want to leave, but she couldn't stay. It was making her dizzy, all these different thoughts. But instead of saying anything, Seth had spun around and walked out of the airport. Summer had then sunk on the concrete floor, right in the middle of the airport, and began to cry. Unbeknownst to her, Seth had seen all of this, and that was when his heart really shattered and that was when he began to run.

"Seth, you okay?" Summer was nudging him slightly, looking at him with a deep concern in her eyes. Seth broke out of his trance and looked at her. God, she was beautiful. Her dark brown hair swung around her face, her tan skin made her eyes stand out, made them look like dark gold. He couldn't stare at her for too long, he would fall for heragain. And God knows _that_ would have been a serious mistake.


	5. The Thought Alone Kills Him

A/N Sorry I haven't written in awhile. I've been so busy with school. OH! Whenever you see Alex, that's Summer's boyfriend, not the lesbian. LOL, just kiddin. anyways, on with the story...

Chapter Five: The Thought Alone Kills Him

Marissa stood by him, wondering amazedly how quickly their places had been switched. Wasn't she supposed to be the one laying in the hospital bed with him watching over her? Wasn't he supposed to be the one who was worried out of his mind and not vice versa? Marissa ran a hand through her wavy blonde locks and suddenly had the sneaking suspicion that she desperately needed a drink. But then again, a drink was what got them into this situation in the first place.

"So, I wasn't really paying attention and as soon as we pulled into the intersection-WHAM- somebody hits us. And I know exactly what you're going to say Summer, 'Oh, Cohen, it wasn't your fault'. Yeah, well I'm pretty sure that it was."

"How was it your fault if someone else hit you?"

"Summer, you wouldn't understand. You weren't in the car that night."

"Well then make me understand." Summer said this with her usual I'm-going-to-get-my-way-no-matter-what voice, and Seth just sighed, continuing.

"We were arguing about something- it was so stupid that I can't even remember what it was about- and we just crashed. I blacked out and when I woke up, they told me that my best friend was in a coma. It was swell, Summer," Seth said this with his usual sarcasm, but Summer could tell that it hurt him a lot to tell her all this. Absentmindedly, she put her hand on his arm and went over everything he had just told her in her mind. She muttered some of the things out loud, but Seth was too concerned with her hand on his arm to care.

_Some guy hit us._

"Wait, Cohen, you don't know who hit you?" Seth looked at her with tired eyes and shook his head. "The police tried to find him but they couldn't locate the car. I remember it though. It was a red pickup, with two people in it. They were both drunk, I think. Summer, I really don't want to talk about it, okay?"

"Seth..."

"Summer, god, please I really just don't ever want to think about it again."

Summer sighed and looked at her hands. "I'm sorry." She was surprised that he had yelled at her; it was usually her yelling at him. Seth saw this and sighed again.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I just hate to think about it."

"I know," she said, and put her hand on his arm again. There was a silence and then Seth spoke again.

"Have you seen Ryan?" he asked her, with a sort of pleading/accusing look in his eyes.

"No," she whispered and looked away. "Have you?"

"Nope and I don't intend to."

"That's nice, Cohen. You don't even go see your friend- your _brother_- and you expect me to feel sorry for you? Hell no, Cohen. That's not the way to handle things."

"Yeah, and what do you suppose I do? Go see him? And then what? I'm Jewish Summer- there's enough guilt in me already."

Summer had to crack a smile at his weak joke. It seemed as if the crash had zapped him of all sense of humor. She suddenly found herself wanting him to be sarcastic like he had been a few minutes ago, something she used to hate.

"So," he burst out, as if their previous conversation had not taken place. "Why not talk about you? I mean, it's something we both love to do." Summer gave him a sidelong glance and smacked his arm.

"What? It's true. So... anything new going on in your life?" Summer looked away. She knew what he was asking. She had told Marissa about Alex, Marissa had let it slip to Ryan and Ryan had inevitably told Seth. That was when she didn't care what Seth thought. And when Ryan could talk.

"Why do you ask if you already know?"

"Well, I just wanted to see if you would tell me yourself."

Summer cringed. She couldn't meet his eyes.

"I guess not," he said.


End file.
